Evil Invaders – Evil Invaders (Empire Records/Hammerheart)

Monday, 29th April 2013
Rating: 7/10

Yours truly has long wondered what it’s like to be able to perform a falsetto. If given such a power, said vocal tactic would probably be used at all hours of the day; ordering a pizza, on a conference call at work, asking the dog if he wants a treat, etc. etc. It’s a great way to make an impression on people…and to suggest one’s “manly bits” have yet to drop. At least that’s how it’s usually presented. So upon listening to the self-titled MCD from Belgium’s Evil Invaders, we wondered if awesomely-named singer Stringking Pussymagnet Alain communicates solely in falsetto, ‘cause that’s all he does across the album’s six songs.

Playing what is now the even more dated retro thrash style, Evil Invaders’ sole saving grace is the aforementioned Pussymagnet Alain (there’s no way this dude gets any chicks), who adds at least some character to the proceedings. When he’s not in all-out falsetto mode, he’s mixing it up with a slightly gruff vocal style, as heard on “Victim of Sacrifice.” Elsewhere, he’s loud and proud on “Tortured by the Beast,” which is probably the best example of his vocal prowess and ability to hit the rafters. Either this dude has yet to hit puberty or he’s the long-lost relative of King Diamond. Either way, he produces one of the more full-frontal assaults on the vocal chords in recent memory.

One can see the juvenile and near-comedic aspect of Evil Invaders (doesn’t “Alcoholic Maniac” say enough?), so the band’s appeal is probably limited to the dwindling number of dudes who still think wearing white Reebok high tops are hip. As for Mr. Pussymagnet, he’s better off not trying to proclaim he’s a point of attraction for the opposite sex. Chicks like a man who’s coy, …and whose “private area” is given some room in which to breathe.

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