Fatality North American Tour Diary Part I

Wednesday, 3rd July 2013

Right now I am watching as my guitar player Eytan heroically takes a leak into a bottle as we faithfully maneuver the labyrinthine clusterfuck that is Quebec construction. It is these kinds of moments when I look deep into my own soul and softly whisper my new found mantra: ‘I should have been a dentist. I should have been a dentist…’

Last night [June 29] we played Piranha Bar in Montreal. What a truly amazing city Montreal is! 100% authentic and unique in every way. But I must ask, is everyone in Montreal a 10? Goodness, even the homeless look like Abercrombie models. I can see that diet being a big hit, the Montreal homeless diet. “Eat nothing but peach pits, pizza crusts, wine dregs and gutter-marinated smoked meat and have washboard abs in a month and a half.” We went up last night with no set list or idea of what we were going to play. That is fun to do every now and again. It helps us develop our onstage improvisation and musicianship to go by the seats of our collective pants. That kind of performance is conducive to spontaneity that I have always thought was a great device for compelling entertainment. Like a rollercoaster with no restraints. Apparently our friends Sam and Max got engaged to each other during our title track Psychonaut. That’s a first! I’m glad they waited until we were actually playing a song and I was finished talking about my penis.

As we continue rumbling towards the United States we have a nervous energy because we know we will be at the mercy of whomever we meet at the border. They have absolute power over us. They have the ability to cancel our whole trip, and potentially our music careers, and even more shocking, they have the unchecked authority to look in our bums. We are currently at our last gas stop before crossing over into the States and we are frantically cleaning the van, making sure we made no mistakes with our paper work and throwing out all of our plums and pears. Is that the biggest threat to national security? Fuckin’ plum smugglers?  Are they looking to prevent crimes of Passionfruit?

I will be sure to let you know how it goes. Stay tuned for more blog entries and keep track of us on our brand new podcast entitled “The Fatality Backseat LeVoncast” to take a rare look into the conversations and adventures of a touring metal band as we do our darnedest to conquer the world with nothing but a mild headache, an unfortunate road diet and no sleep. You can search for it and subscribe to it on iTunes in the Podcast section [or you can listen here] . Did I mention that it’s free????

Wish us luck, dearest friends.

Spencer “what are you doing with that rubber glove!?” LeVon

P.S. We made it!

Be sure to check out the remaining dates (here) and don’t miss the thrash party quartet in a city near you!

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Photos courtesy of FATALITY

 

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