PANZERFAUST Visits The Westboro Baptist Church

Friday, 30th May 2014

Woe betide any crackpot congregation who may happen to be in the path of Canadian black metalers PANZERFAUST. The internet was in unanimous appraisal Wednesday afternoon when the image of four uniformed men donning their middle fingers and appearing to be urinating on The Westboro Baptist Church had surfaced. PANZERFAUST, currently on the road touring with Abigail Williams and Lecherous Nocturne had received some impassable information while driving through Kansas yesterday, and with no rest stops on the seeable horizon – alternate plans were implemented.

PANZERFAUST posted via Facebook: “The epicenter of all outhouses: The Westboro Baptist Church. As an outhouse, it was employed as such. For even thinking about protesting Jeff Hanneman’s funeral, may your mothers suck cocks in hell.”

Guitarist/vocalist Kaizer gave a brief synopsis of their festivities: “Hours in to our drive to Denver in the sauna we call a van, sweating like pedophiles at recess we were when our good friend Chris Green gave us a call. He informed us that we just so happened to be within pissing proximity of everybody’s most beloved institution of all the fruits God has to bear, namely, The Westboro Baptist Church. Checking the map, we were only 20 miles past the psych ward. Needless to say, the tires screeched and we turned the Panzerkampfwagen back around and headed for the pissing grounds. Upon our arrival, we found someone so sweet as to capture this harmonious moment for us. It was on all counts civil service… Of a kind.”

“And here I was thinking we were going to a big gay, God-hating orgy.”

PANZERFAUST is currently on tour with Abigail Williams and Lecherous Nocturne playing the following dates:

30 – Colorado Springs, CO
31 – Salt Lake City, UT – The Shred Shed

1 – Las Vegas, NV – Cheyenne’s Saloon
2 – Los Angeles, CA – 5 Star
3 – San Francisco, CA – Elbo Room
4 – Chico, CA – La Salles
5 – Seattle, WA – El Corazon Lounge
6 – Vancouver, BC – Funky Winkerbeans
7 – Calgary, AB – Calgary Metal Fest – Dickens Pub
8 – Great Falls, MT Machinery Row
9 – Bozeman, MT – The Filling Station
11 – Chippewa Falls, WI – Every Buddy’s Bar
12 – Omaha, NB – The Hideout
13 – Des Moines, IA – Vaudeville Mews
14 – Peoria, IL – The Brass Rail

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