Fatality North American Tour Diary Part III

Monday, 15th July 2013

Enter Adam Zlotnik…….

I will say this right now. Sleeping on a bunk bed above [bassist] Adam Zlotnik is like trying to slow dance with an epileptic at a rave. It’s fucked. He immediately hopped in the bottom bunk and made a phone call to my complete sorrow and disappointment.

Once the phone call was complete, he began tossing and turning like a listless trout washed up on the beach of fuck-it. Once he got settled he would go “AAAAH” like he had just drank a nice iced tea on a hot day. All the while I was wiggling about on the top bunk like an asshole whose only fault was being mind numbingly self-serving.

Then finally I approached rest. You know that warm and tender feeling you get as you slip away into sweet unconsciousness? It’s like a hug from your mother, and a pleasant bath all in one. I just started drifting… and drifting… and drif…

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK…..

I immediately become fully alert and filled with homicidal rage. I realize that it is Adam knocking in my bed from underneath me. “WHAT!?” I squeaked like I had just had a dream of road rage. “Is that you snoring?” he whispered.

It was then that I look to the floor and find my brother and drummer: self-sufficient snoring Mason on an inflatable air mattress that he had the foresight to bring from home so that he would never have to sleep above a gentleman with the personality and likeability of a wet sock ever again. ‘NO IT’S MASON SNORING, AND NOW I HAVE A FRONT ROW SEAT FOR IT ASWELL YA PRICK!’ ‘…sorry.’

I could have gotten back to sleep if my entire being wasn’t consumed by hate and irritability. Should have taken the couch.

Spencer “me first” Le Von”

 

Be sure to check out the remaining tour dates (here) and don’t miss the thrash party quartet in a city near you! Find the latest podcasts from Fatality streaming exclusively below!

 

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